


Affections

by absolutelyCancerous (cal1brations)



Series: Misfit Carnival (AU) [3]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Carnival/Freakshow AU, Conjoined Twins, F/M, Insecurity, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-08
Updated: 2012-10-08
Packaged: 2017-11-15 21:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cal1brations/pseuds/absolutelyCancerous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A childish love is based on the fact: I love you because I need you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Affections

**Author's Note:**

> [this girl](http://www.fahrenheat451.tumblr.com) came up with the [Carnival/Freakshow AU](http://www.fahrenheat451.tumblr.com/tagged/The-Shitty-Nameless-Carnival), and again, I just wanted to write some feelings spew about carnie!Axel, Roxas & Xion

It’s not awkward, between the three of them. It’s safety. It’s stability.

 It’s home, really.

Axel is the only one who gets it. Not only the fact that they’re conjoined twins, but the fact that they’re literally two _different_ people, two different human beings entirely, who don’t like to be referred to as one person together. And he respects that, and he knows how they preferred to be called and how they liked to be treated, in their own ways.

For Roxas, it’s a romantic relationship. Axel treats him like a significant other, open-mouthed kisses and loving words; he loves the blond twin more than words will ever be able to convey. And, although it’s a bit difficult, to work out a relationship when you’ve got your sibling legitimately connected to your hip, Axel tries so terribly hard to give Xion what he can provide for her own personal needs as well.

With Xion, Axel is a best friend. He’s a big brother, he’s there, and Xion likes being able to have someone to lean on when she can’t pretend to e brave anymore. They have long conversations, usually about things Xion likes to discuss about, like nature and maybe a bit of philosophy, but Axel’s extremely versatile between both twins, he knows how to keep up. Xion gives him kudos for his abilities.

It wasn’t even a big difference, when Axel decided to pursue Roxas in a sexual manner, because he could take care of each of them, and that was enough for both Roxas and Xion. Someone who could look at them without gaping was a keeper—someone who could _love_ each of them in the ways they each desired, that was someone that they could never, ever let go of.

And Axel loving them is the best part, to both of them.

He’s so kind; he never attends their shows, he only waits for them to shuffle back to their wagon, for them to get ready for bed before letting him inside. There are times, though, that it’s not safe for him to be waiting around in the night for them, or it’s too cold to allow such, and in those times, they remorsefully allow him entry.

“Don’t look,” Roxas warns. Axel probably thinks it’s for decency’s sake, but Xion knows what her twin means with such venomous words.

They undress, slide out of their show dress. It’s nice, it’s bright and shiny, it captures _attention_. They stand in the nude, then, sighing over their reflection in the full-length mirror they stand before. It’s part of their evening ritual, when Axel generally waits outside for them to change, but tonight, he understands.

“I think you’ve had enough staring for tonight,” Axel pipes up from behind the two. They might be standing in their underwear, but it doesn’t seem very awkward when he places his arms around their waist, and kisses each shoulder affectionately.

Xion feels Roxas’s discomfort, his repulsion with Axel seeing them, without make-up, without clothing, and it saddens her. She’d like to think, for once, they were pretty, and maybe even a little bit normal, but Roxas can never think such things. He hates the way they look, Xion knows it, and she feels so painfully guilty that he can’t be happy about himself, not even when Axel kisses and coddles them, whispers how simply gorgeous they look without all that silly make-up.

And even when he gets them into bed, when he peppers Roxas in kisses and keeps a soothing hand running along Xion’s side, to make sure she knows he loves her just as much, Xion feels Roxas’s uncertainty. She finds her brother’s hand, and gives it a squeeze, hoping to convey to him that _you need this_ and _let_ _Axel love you_ and _none of this is lies, Roxas_.

And he cries. Roxas sobs so painfully, Xion is certain that she can actually feel her heart shattering.

He doesn’t stop easily, either, not with Axel cradling him close, not even with his sister petting his hair back and rubbing his arm as gently as she can manage. He feels hideous, and when Axel whispers a loving, “you’re so _beautiful_ , butterfly,” against his cheek, Roxas _wails_.

“Axel wouldn’t lie,” Xion tries to assure, pecking her brother’s cheek awkwardly and smoothing down unkempt curls. Roxas tries to calm down, holding his breath and hiccupping small whimpers every now and again. Axel thanks her with a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth, before he sets to focusing his affections back on the blond, kind words and all.

“What is it that’s making you so sad, sunshine?”

And Roxas just shakes his head desperately, drawing his arms tight, tight, tight around Axel and squeezing him close. The tattooed man smiles, sadly, and wipes away the rest of Roxas’s tears, promising that he’s sorry and that he doesn’t want to see such a beautiful boy cry so much. Xion doesn’t help much, then, because she knows that Axel’s words are going in one ear and out the other, and that her own would do the same. So she lies there, listening to Axel tell Roxas many, many beautiful things that Roxas can’t even begin to understand, can’t even fathom.

And Axel takes it upon himself to show him, to show _them_. Kissing down open, pale skin, against patches of old burns that remind Axel strangely of pale pink blossom buds in the springtime. He smoothes warm hands against them, careful and meticulous, mapping out each body (though his attentions focus heavily on Roxas; he’s the one who’s so violently upset here, after all.) beneath them.

Axel makes his way to their crotch, and that’s another issue that almost sends Roxas into another fit. Axel at least knows of this one, why it upsets Roxas as much as it does. They’re _female_ , according to the organ between their slender legs, according to feminine hips. They’re female, although Roxas is very blatantly a _boy_ , a small, frail one, but a boy nonetheless, on top. He lacks the one thing that could ever verify him as such, and it makes Roxas feel degraded, to be denied his own gender.

But Axel knows this, and Axel understands, and maybe that’s part of the reason Axel isn’t one to really wave his cock around, because bragging about something like that would be sick. He’s quick to the point, in pressing himself inside, and although it’s female anatomy he’s working with, both twins can feel his movements, his essence between them.

And he whispers kind words to Roxas’s ear, promising every kind word he says to the poor boy, kissing away his tears the moment they begin to spill down his cheeks. Making love is for Roxas (although it’s a nice sensation for Xion, too) because it’s Roxas who needs the physical reassurance of Axel’s unwavering loyalty and love, and his sister is more than willing to let her sibling experience such, for his own personal happiness. That’s important, and he deserves it just as much as she does.

When it’s over, when Axel flops down beside Roxas and tangles their legs together under the covers, he repeats his kind words.

_I love you, both of you._

_You’re gorgeous; you’re absolutely_ beautiful _, sunshine._

_You’re nothing but perfect to me._

Roxas and Xion both end up drifting off during his whispers of love and assurance. Axel merely presses closer, and hopes that some fraction of it, some portion of his truth, got through to them.

They share a childish type of love, the three of them. They love one another, because they _need_ one another.


End file.
